Bottom of the Bottle
by Kara D
Summary: Can Spike reach it fast enough? My take on what should have happened in season six.
1. Chapter 1

It had been one hundred forty seven long agonizing days, one hundred forty seven lonely nights. Three thousand twenty eight hours of deafening silence that seemed to keep him calm for the most part. Two hundred eleven thousand, six hundred and eighty minutes without _her_ and it was killing him to the point of the condition he was in now.

Spike tipped the bottle back and let the whiskey slide down his throat with ease. One more bottle and it will hurt less. That was what he said two liquor stores ago and he kept telling himself the same thing. _One more bottle and I'll see her again. One more…_

The crypt had cleaned up since Buffy's death. Spike had tried to find ways to keep him self from falling asleep and seeing her face, her limp body as it lay strewn across broken crates and metal debris. Anything was better than that. Hell, he would have chosen death, but God had a sick knack for torturing him with the fact that he couldn't save her. That he failed his Slayer.

He then realized that the bottle was empty and he had had it pressed to his mouth since it ran dry. His anger started to resurface and he threw the glass bottle across the crypt. It hit the wall and shattered into dozens of tiny shards almost invisible to the naked eye. Spike stood and stumbled to the sarcophagus on the other side of the room, searching for another bottle. After all, it was the only way to relieve the pain of losing her.

Every night, Spike would sit in his tattered chair with a bottle of miscellaneous alcohol, the hurt, and uncertainty of that night plaguing his drunken thoughts. If he fell asleep, which he always did, he'd replay that night. Repeatedly, he'd save her, then he'd wake up and face the truth. She was gone. Dead because he was too much of a prat to do anything right! Everything he could have done, he didn't! Anything would have worked better than what had actually happened. Anything and that was no understatement.

Spike hated himself for the way he failed to save her. He promised, _promised_ her and he broke it.

Broke her, broke himself, broke his heart.

The door to his crypt opened and a small figure stood in the doorway, "Spike."

To be continued.

Authors Note: Leave me a review bitches.


	2. Chapter 2

Bottom of the Bottle Chapter Two

A/N: Okay, this is my take on what happened in season 6, so it's not going to be completely canon. Hell, I don't know if it's going to be anything like the show! I just know that what has happened so far is Buffy died, Spike has been drinking, trying to avoid anything Buffy-related and Dawn fits into that category. So, I'm about to cover why he hasn't talked about Dawn in his drunken thoughts.

3 Kara

"Spike," Dawn opened the crypt door and frowned when the aroma of whiskey and cigarettes filled her nostrils, "You should get _out_ of this place."

"I thought I told you to stay away _from _this place," Spike glanced at her, then back to the broken bottle on the floor.

"Someone should check on you every now and then. I don't see Xander doing it anytime so-…have you been drinking again?"

Spike disregarded her claim and turned to sit back down in his beaten chair, "You should leave, Bit. Red and Glinda'll start frettin' if you're not back."

"They know I'm here. They sent me on…a _mission_." Dawn giggled to herself for a moment before scoping the crypt, "Have you been this way since my last visit?" She asked sternly, demanding an answer.

Spike shrugged, "How long's that been?" The younger Summers pulled the backpack from her shoulders and tossed it on the nearest sarcophagus.

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes'…," She moved forward, making her way closer to Spike, "Have you eaten since then?" The vampire's lair went silent and Dawn heard a faint, turned thunderous growl come from Spike's direction, "Spike, you can't keep doing this." She whispered.

Spike's head whipped around and a pair of murderous eyes landed on her, "Doin' what? This? This is all I can do! I can't do anything without thinking of Buffy! Not a damn thing!" Dawn was silent for a moment before speaking again.

"She's not coming back, Spike. I'm so-"

Spike jumped out of his chair and pointed a finger at her, "Dawn, don't talk about it!"

A/N: I'm writing this as if commercials were included so there will be a lot of short chapters.

Kara


	3. Chapter 3

Bottom of the Bottle Chapter Three

"Calm down," Dawn whispered, lowering her gaze to the crypt floor, "Please."

Spike realized how dangerous he must have seemed and took a deep breath, stepping back as the look on Dawn's face said it all. She was scared of him…no. She was scared for him, "Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

Dawn bit her bottom lip and neared the sarcophagus, hopping onto it, "It's okay. Really. You didn't know what you were doing," She assured him.

Spike shook his head violently, "No…I don't." He sat back in his chair and felt a rip of emotion start in his chest and work its way through his body, "I'm…confused and hurtin'. I can't think straight and every time…I think of _her_…it makes it worse."

"Spike?" Dawn eyed the vampire curiously as he leaned forward and covered his face. His back started heaving and she could swear that he was crying, "Spike, are you okay?"

He lifted his head and the teenager saw glistening tears rolling down his cheeks, "Dawn, it hurts. Why does it hurt so bloody _much_?" The girl scooted off of the cement slab, her feet hitting the floor beneath her with a loud thump, and walked slowly towards the sobbing demon.

"Spike, I know how you feel…I do…but _this_," She gestured around her and shook her head disapprovingly, "is not helping you at all. You need to get out. Come over to the house…do something!" He sighed and wiped his face with the back of his left hand.

"Can I just have one more night, Dawnie?" Dawn felt an uneasy pull in her stomach as she heard that particular nickname. She'd never heard Spike use that on before and it seemed strange.

"Yes….on one condition."

Spike smiled the best he could, "And what's that, then?"

"I get to stay with you and you follow my rules." She crossed her arms and sweetly smiled. Spike laughed to himself and nodded.

"Fine by me."

A/N: Okay, this was 147 days after Buffy died. I'm giving her one more month of death period, but it won't be written like that. The next chapter is going to skip ahead, passing that month. I think it will open on Xander, Willow, Tara, and Anya talking about the 'resurrection'. I'm pretty sure that the next four chapters are going to be a lot better and well written that the last three. love kara.


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